Walldren's World » Family & Friends

Reflections on the Grieving Process

Scott — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:30:42 +0000

It’s hard to believe that 12 years have passed since my Dad, Allan Wade Walldren, passed away. He struggled with addiction (cigarettes and food) as I have for much of my life. From his life and death I have learned a great many things: try to stay positive, have sense of humor, that I might look good in a beard…

A blog post about my Dad seems comparable to the entry for Earth in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: “Mostly Harmless.” 18 years seems too brief a time to spend getting to know your parent. I hope that I can be around longer for Nathan and any of his potential siblings.

Almost three years have passed since I quit smoking. It is ironic that I started smoking out of remembrance for the man for whom chain-smoking partially spelled his doom. Well, I have overcome that hurdle and I have never felt better.

I loved my Dad and I still miss him. However, I’ve learned to be strong without him – and that too has been a lesson taken from his life. You spend most of your young life trying to live up to your parents’ expectations – or at least what you expect their expectations of you are. Then, hopefully you discover that what you thought they had in mind for you was not necessarily what they actually had in mind for you.

The safety of the cocoon is burst and you have to try to find your own meaning. At least this has been the case for me. I try to stay positive and laugh at things. Often that is all you can do. But outside of this I have also learned that it is important not to let gallows humor lead to a chronic mental state of defeatism. You must, no matter how difficult it is, become your own person.

Along the path of grief I have discovered some influential existential writers and directors that deal with some of the above transformative issues. I highly recommend checking out their below works:

Viktor Frankl: Man’s Search for Meaning
Albert Camus: The Myth of Sisyphus
Ingmar Bergman: Wild Strawberries
Krzysztof Kie?lowski: The Decalogue, Blue, and Red
Akira Kurosawa: Ikiru
Zhang Yimou: To Live

So, here’s to remembering my Dad – whose spirit and influence lives on today, not just in my son’s middle namesake.

There’s Somebody for Everyone

Scott — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:51:44 +0000

After being single for the majority of my life – then finding someone I am now madly in love with – I am convinced that there is somebody for everyone. You may be diseased, leprous, covered in a colony of spores, or otherwise disgusting to most people in the world – but there is someone out there who will “get you”. It may not be how you originally envisioned – or specifically what you had in mind – but it will captivate you.

C.S. Lewis wrote a piece called The Four Loves that explores the idea of love and its various forms. I think it’s interesting to evaluate your relationships with friends and family through these criteria to better understand how you truly feel.

Affection – fondness through familiarity, circumstantial.
Friendship – strong bond from a shared interest of activity.
Eros – “being in love”, appreciation of another regardless of reciprocity.
Charity – “caring regardless of circumstance.”

Lewis mainly wrote for and from the perspective of Christian theology and its discussion of love as a virtue. However, I think the idea of love as a virtue is a pretty universal concept among us homo sapiens in our various cultural incarnations. So, the next time you think of someone you love – ask yourself, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…”

Happy Four Months

Scott — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 20:39:57 +0000

Today we celebrate my son’s 4th month on the planet. He has been celebrating by not allowing us much rest over the past week and has bestowed upon us the never ending gifts of barf, poop, and seven pound diapers that smell like an El station. Passive aggressiveness aside, I love my boy and am so glad he’s made it this far without too much incident! Happy 4 Months, Nate!

Welcome, Nathan Allan Walldren

Scott — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:22:59 +0000

Nate Walldren, AKA

For those of you who may not already have heard (or received your birth announcement yet), Nathan Allan Walldren was born on September 24, 2009 at 9lbs, 12 oz. He was 22 inches long, although I’m guessing he’s already outgrown that length and will shortly begin his career in the NBA. Mom and Baby are doing well.

On a Personal Note

Scott — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:53:58 +0000

It’s very exciting to know that in just a few weeks’ time Christina and I will welcome our child into the world.

The past few months have been very sobering for more than this reason. Through it all, my darling wife has been resilient. Not giving up – even in the face of recent scares – she has more than proven just what a remarkably strong, dedicated, loving, and excellent mother she will be.

I don’t write many personal entries any more for professional and personal reasons – but I do want the world to know just how inspiring Christina is and how I cherish my life with her each and every day.